Slow Progress, but Still Progress

 I have reached, I think the plateau of my weightloss. I have been surprised in so many ways of how your body changes as you gain or lose weight. When you gain lots of weight, your whole structure changes because you have more volume. You knees bow out and ankles, back, neck...even your organs rearrange themselves because they run out of room with all the fat pushing against them. So when you lose weight, the same thing happens and I never knew how much weightloss can hurt. Your hips, back, organs...everything shifts back into normal position and like growing pains, it can hurt! 

It really feels like I've had more bad days than good days with my weightloss. It's like...everything feels better because you know, every 1 lb is like 5 lbs off your joint. So you think, man I lose all this weight I'm going to feel amazing! I want to tell you now..it kinda sucks! My hips hurt, my knees hurt, my joints hurt lol. I still feel 100 times better than I did when I was almost 100 lbs heavier...but I still have these aches and pains and my back just has days it gives out.

I have decided that I need to incorporate some cardio/exercise into my daily activities. I'm to the point that I feel like I can exercise and not die...or feel like dying. I've been doing about 30 min of cardio on my elliptical machine every day and I feel great. The aches and pains have been getting better, I still do have them but it's getting better. I also have learned how important water is. My nurse practitioner has been hounding fluids into my brain and I'd be like...ok..I'll try..I'm really going to try.....but honestly, drinking lots of water has always been tough for me. Plus, I love my coffee and when you drink a lot of coffee...you have to drink even MORE water and it's a downward spiral. 

So water is extremely important. Also, electrolytes. I went about a month with no weightloss and honestly, after all the success I've been having, this slower progress can feel depressing. I just want the weight gone. I am NOT a patient person so,  I just want to be to the end of this journey and be my healthy weight. I just know that it doesn't work that way but it's still frustrating. I have really pushed the water though and then adding in the workouts (and TRYING to cut out some of the coffee) I lost 5.6lbs this past two weeks. I'm ecstatic. I want to keep moving forward. I want to pass that 100 lbs mark. I'm just chomping at the bit to break past that barrier. I want to be under 240 lbs. I'm at 245 so I keep setting little goals...like..now I gotta get to 240...when I hit 240 I'll want to be under 230. Little goals...little wins. It keeps you going and doesn't seem so overwhelming as...I need to lose 200 lbs. That's a whole second person y'all. Losing the extra me...it's like having a conjoined twin that's just wrapped around you instead of next to you. 

So, one thing that's both neat and disturbing, is they have this little model of a pound of fat. It looks absolutely disgusting. The neat thing though, is that when you lose weight....you can look at that and be like...wow...I lost 2 of those or for me yesterday it was...I lost 5 and a half of those. It's crazy. It's amazing. I'm excited...I'm stoked. I can't wait to see what the future has in store. I can't wait to see that scale under 200...I can't wait to stand in the winner's circle and just be like...you know what...it was hard...there were tears...it was sometimes depressing...but you know what...I kept at it..I persevered...I did it. That's what I am looking forward to and that is what I can't wait to see.